Mary: "I didn't really find much either. Other than the religious symbols on every single wall and window of the church, that is."
Emily: "I think that's pretty standard for a church."
Mary: "True. But not all weddings take place inside of a church."

Emily: "So what is it, a two-for-one? A holy man and a pre-made casting circle?"
Mary: "Laura is nothing if not efficient."
Emily: "True. So if we can't stop her from doing the ritual before she starts, should we just throw the door open to break the circle?"
Mary: "That might work. Or it might not and we'll become little old ladies. But it can't hurt to try."

Mary: "Okay. If it comes to that, you cover me while I run for the door."
Emily: "Cover you? With what? We don't have guns. Besides, it's not like she'll be able to chase after us with her thirty foot train."
Mary: "Good point. Okay, let's both run for the door."
Emily: "Deal."

For the first five minutes, everything did go as planned.

Then disaster hit. Laura's dress wouldn't zip up all the way. The zipper caught halfway up, and refused to budge any further.

Laura remained eerily calm as Emily ran back to the car to retrieve the sewing kit, complete with silk thread.

Laura: "Let Summer do it, she knows how to sew."
Emily: "I do quite a bit of sewing myself actually."
Laura: "Summer's hands are smaller, she'll be able to get in there a bit better. It's ok."

Emily handed the threaded needle to Summer, who sighed and began stitching Laura into her dress.

Summer: "Ow! God Damn it!"
Laura: "Summer! We're in a holy place!"
Summer: "Sorry. Son of a bitch!"
Laura: "That's better. What happened?"

Summer: "I just sewed my finger to your dress."
Laura: "Are you okay? Is there blood?"
Summer: "That depends, if I say yes, will there be more blood?"
Laura: "Don't be silly! A little blood never hurt anything. How bad is it?"
Summer: "Just a drop. And it's on the inside. No one will see it."
Laura: "Perfect."

Mary watched the proceedings with bored disinterest while Emily poked her in the side, motioning for her to follow her around the corner.

Emily: "Did you see that?"
Mary: "Yeah, I thought for sure Laura would blow her top. I can't believe she's so calm!"
Emily: "Of course she's calm! She probably rigged the zipper!"
Mary: "Why would she do that?"

Emily: "Hello, blood of a virgin?"
Mary: "Oh! You think? Summer?"
Emily: "Jeez, I would hope so, she's barely twelve."
Mary: "You know what this means?"
Emily: "This is really happening."

Mary: "What should we do?"
Emily: "I don't know. Let's let everything go on as planned for now, so at least we'll get up to the front of the church in close proximity of the priest and Laura. If all else fails, we can throw Holy Water on her and run like hell for the doors."

Laura: "Mary? Emily? Where did you go? It's time!"
Mary: "Wow, that was fast. Summer sure does know how to sew."
Laura: "Yes, she's very talented. Though I wish she hadn't bled on my dress. My body heat will probably set the stain forever. Oh well, what can you do? Let's go!"

Laura gave Mary a small push, sending her down the aisle after Summer. Emily straightened Laura's train before processing down the aisle herself, and finally, the string quartet began playing Trumpet Voluntary, Laura's cue. Everyone in the church rose, watching as Laura walked slowly down the aisle on the arm of her father.

Emily and Mary whispered to each other beneath the music.

Emily: "Do you think it's weird that her whole family is here?"
Mary: "Yeah, most of them are already pretty old…"
Emily: "No, I mean why would she want to hurt her own family?"
Mary: "Do you of all people really have to ask that?"
Emily: "Good point."

As Laura approached the front of the church, she glanced sharply at Mary and Emily. They both shut up and froze. Laura smiled, and then her gaze turned to Brian, who was beaming at his bride-to-be.

The priest began speaking, which was followed by prayers, some singing, and more speaking. The congregation rose and sat, all of them seeming as perfectly choreographed as the procession down the aisle had been. Mary was baffled, confused, and bored. She was anxious for the ritual to begin so that she could stop worrying about it.

Father Donnelly: "Laura and Brian, please join hands and exchange your vows."

Brian: "In the name of God, I Brian Eugene Howell take you Laura Lily Wayne to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for all eternity. This is my solemn vow."

Father Donnelly frowned, obviously dismayed in the change of vows, but unwilling to press the issue.

Father Donnelly: "Laura?"
Laura: "In the name of God, I Laura Lily Wayne take you Brian Eugene Howell to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for all eternity. This is my solemn vow."
Father Donnelly: "The rings, please."

Emily and Mary turned to each other.

Father Donnelly: "A circle is the symbol of wholeness, perfection, and unity. Like circles, their rings have no beginning and no end. They are tokens of the growing relationship that Laura and Brian have come here to celebrate and confirm."
Brian: "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, take and wear this ring as sign of my love and faithfulness."

Mary: "This is it. He said 'for all eternity,' and so did she. We have to stop them before the priest declares them man and wife."
Laura: "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, take and wear this ring as sign of my love and faithfulness."
Emily: "Okay, on the count of three… One… two…"
Father Donnelly: "Laura and Brian, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you-"

Father Donnelly: "Husband and Wife."

Emily and Mary froze, waiting for the worst to happen, unable to move. Laura and Brian simply stared at them, mouths agape, as they tried to collect themselves. An uncomfortable amount of time went by before they turned back to face each other and smile before facing the priest once again.

Laura: "Sorry, Father, please continue."
Father Donnelly: "You may now kiss the bride."

Laura and Brian kissed as everyone in the church stood up and began applauding. A moment later, the two were bounding back down the aisle, barely able to stop themselves from skipping. Emily and Mary slowly opened their eyes, squeezed shut to block out the horrific vision of everyone in the church suddenly aging one hundred years before their very eyes.

Mary: "Nothing happened."
Emily: "She completed the ritual…"
Mary: "And nothing happened."

Emily: "So."
Mary: "So."
Summer: "Smooth, you two. I would tell you to think twice about showing up for the reception, but she'd probably be angrier if she doesn't have a full wedding party in her pictures."

Summer shook her head and started back down the aisle, not caring that she was recessing out of order now that Laura's back was turned.

Mary: "I guess we were… wrong?"
Emily: "So it would seem."
Mary: "I don't understand. Everything was in place for the ritual to happen. Hell, even if that wasn't what she was planning, it should've happened."
Emily: "Maybe intent is the most important thing? And maybe we just really need to get lives."

Mary: "Maybe. Are you hungry? I'm hungry."