Serge: "Ok. I need to know what happened."
Emily: "I don't want to discuss my secret love affair with bad 80s music, Serge."
Markus: "Not the… I think that was singing. What the hell happened at the church?"
Emily: "Oh. That."

Mary and Emily exchanged a defeated look. Mary leaned forward and spoke quietly, but with careful annunciation.

Mary: "We were under the impression that Laura was trying to pull off an ancient eternal youth spell."
Deanna: "Whatever gave you that idea?"
Emily: "She was acting completely insane, everything had to be just right or it was the end of the world."
Serge: "Like what?"

Mary: "Well for one she needed 'Bone' colored tulle instead of 'Parchment'. I'm an artist and I couldn't even tell the difference between them! That was on top of wacky flower combinations."
Deanna: "Neither of you have ever been married, have you?"
Emily: "Well, no."
Deanna: "Weddings have a way of making perfectly normal people go a little crazy, trust me. Tiny things get blown all out of proportion, but when it comes time for the vows you remember what really matters."

Mary: "Ok well that's all fine and good, but this woman was more than a little crazy. She needed this thing called a 'unity candle' made from a very specific kind of beeswax. I mean come on, 'unity candle'? Clearly ritualistic."
Deanna: "Mary, unity candles are common in wedding ceremonies. They represent the coming together of two families."
Mary: "Fine, but I found human bones hidden in the church."
Deanna: "Sweetie, those were relics."

Mary: "Relic? What the hell sort of weird-ass church keeps human remains on display?"
Deanna: "The Catholic Church. Relics are a part of the body or clothing kept as a memorial to a departed saint."
Mary: "Yeah well… it's still weird and creepy."
Markus: "Hey, if nothing else you've given those two something to laugh about when they're old and grey."
Emily: "Some consolation."

Serge: "Well if you'll excuse me, I think I see some chocolate mousse with my name on it over there."
Deanna: "Oh I wonder if mine is next to it!"
Markus: "I'm pretty sure I heard some cake calling my name. Mary? Emily? Care to join us?"
Mary: "Nah, we've got our friend Jose to keep us company."

Markus smiled softly before following Deanna and Serge to the dessert table, once again leaving Mary and Emily on their own.

Emily: "This night. This night has sucked."
Mary: "It more than sucks. It's reached epic proportions of suckatude."
Emily: "At this rate we'll go home and find out that our fish have died."
Mary: "We don't even have fish."
Emily: "Which is why it'll be all the more tragic to find them floating on their backs."

They fell silent, each of them occasionally drinking from a pink flask. Emily was only somewhat aware of James making the rounds, laughing and flirting with nearly every available female in the room. She did her very best to avoid looking in the direction of the bar, where she was sure Tristan was having a wonderful time without her anywhere around.

Mary: "Is it time to go home yet?"
Emily: "Did you miss the sign on the way in? We're in Hell. There is no going home. This is home now."
Mary: "You're drunk."
Emily: "Not nearly enough."

Mary: "There's more tequila. We can survive this night."
Emily: "I don't suppose there's much more than can poss-"

Emily suddenly felt as though she'd been hit directly upside the head by a particularly large trout. Mary sat stunned across from her, her mouth slightly opened in shocked disbelief.

Laura: "Oh my God! Emily! Are you ok?"

Emily calmly and quietly stood up, retrieving the enormous bouquet that had landed on the floor in front of her. Without a word, she violently threw the flowers on the table before marching out of the reception hall.