Emily: "What's up?"
Mary: "Our neighbor is so fucking weird."
Emily: "Is he mowing the lawn in his underwear again?"
Mary: "Er, no. Thankfully. Wait, did he really do that?"

Emily: "Yep. I had a good 45 minutes of entertainment the other night."
Mary: "You watched?"
Emily: "There wasn't anything on TV and he's a pretty good looking kid. You know, I think he's single. Maybe I should ask him out."
Mary: "We need to have a serious discussion, Em."
Emily: "I'm completely messing with you. So what's he up to now?"
Mary: "He's been out there since sundown, going in and out of the house. I'm not quite sure what-"

Emily: "Maybe he just broke up with Andy."
Mary: "That's a frightening thought. Speaking of which, I threw out some more flowers a few minutes ago."
Emily: "Oh yeah? What were they this time?"
Mary: "Roses, again."

Emily: "I guess he doesn't have much of an imagination, does he?"
Mary: "I could have told you that."
Emily: "As long as he's not doing anything like sending me dead lovebirds or cow hearts circled in barbed wire I think I'll just continue to ignore this. Were they nice roses?"
Mary: "They seemed expensive."
Emily: "Good. Next time let's donate them to the hospital or something."
Mary: "Hey that's not such a bad idea."

Emily: "You know, I had an epiphany in the tub just now…"
Mary: "Oh god, Emily. You're my best friend and all, but I really do not need to know things like that."
Emily: "Um, Mary? Epiphany? Sudden realization?"
Mary: "I knew that. Go on."

Emily: "I think I'm going to start seeing a psychologist again. I feel really off-balance lately. It started before that whole wedding fiasco thing, but it's been even worse since. I don't think I can get through this on my own."
Mary: "Really? I guess that's good. Whatever you think you need to do. I was going to suggest it after I found your fruit baby anyway."
Emily: "Hey, I did that as a surprise for you!"
Mary: "You momentarily had me thinking I was the one going insane."

Emily: "As was my plan."
Mary: "Speaking of, got anything planned for tonight?"
Emily: "I had a date with a particularly adorable grad student, the couch, and a bowl of ice cream but I'm afraid 'American Idol' forced the three of us to reschedule for next week."
Mary: "That's too bad. So are you up to going out? I feel like these walls are starting to close in on me. I thought we could brave the Xenon."

Emily: "Actually that sounds like it would be a lot of fun! 'Girls' Night Out' sort of thing."
Mary: "Fantastic. Can I borrow some clothes?"