Jared snorted.

Jared: "Five minutes older. Get over it already, would you?"
Ephram: "Those five minutes obviously made a difference."
Jared: "Mom wouldn't have given a shit about refreshments, you know."
Ephram: "No, she wouldn't have. And where is she now?"
Jared: "That was a completely different situation. No one is going to hang us out in the sun to die because we didn't bring snacks to some retarded meeting."

Ephram: "You're a fucking idiot, you know that? What do you think this is, ninth grade? You're not disappointing a party full of eager freshmen in Portland waiting to smoke their first joint. Think more along the lines of inner city Detroit. You fuck up, you die."
Jared: "That is such a myth. You've never even been to Detroit. First of all, we're not talking about crack and fake amputee panhandlers. Second of all-"
Chris: "Hello, boys."

Ephram: "Hey Dad."
Chris: "I told you not to call me that."
Ephram: "What else would I call you? You turned mom and she turned me."
Chris: "Fine, then call me Grandpa. But I certainly didn't father you. If I'd had any idea the two of you existed and that your mum was such a sap, I'd never have turned her."
Ephram: "Whatever. What do you want?"

Chris: "Just making sure you're coming to the meeting tonight."
Ephram: "We'll be there."
Chris: "And you realize it starts in less than two hours?"
Jared: "Yeah, we can tell time."
Chris: "Just checking. I don't exactly smell any fresh blood."

Jared: "So what? We've been busy."
Ephram: "We'll have something."
Chris: "I certainly hope so. I can't help but to feel a certain responsibility for the two of you now that your Mum's fertilizing the park. So I suggest you turn up, that you turn up on time, and that you bring something truly extraordinary."
Ephram: "Truly extraordinary?"
Jared: "That's not really asking much considering the usual crack whores you all turn up with."

Chris: "I'm not asking for extraordinary in relative terms. I have something very specific in mind - there's a diner on Twelfth. Bring the redheaded waitress."
Ephram: "Just one?"
Chris: "She'll suffice. If you can manage her, I'm sure you can manage more responsibility and more rewards in the future."
Jared: "Why? What's the big deal with some waitress?"
Chris: "She's feisty, but worth it. If you're lucky, I'll give you a taste. Be discreet -- she's been avoiding me and she's rather suspicious of strangers, especially strangers of the undead sort."

Chris: "Go on, then. You kids today have no taste for adventure. Go on outside and play already."

Chris watched the two young vampires leave, wondering if he'd ever see them again. The older one seemed to have half a brain, but that still averaged out to only a quarter of a brain apiece.

Whatever happened, it would be a win-win situation. He could either be rid of the wonder twins with absolutely no work on his end, or he could have Mary for the night. Chris frowned, wondering what the hell he would do if the twins actually did succeed at the doomed mission he'd sent them on.

Mary had spent months trying to bore him into moving on, but something in him couldn't quite let go, though he tried. He knew there was still a spark of demon in her, hiding in a piece of rage buried deep within her heart. If he could unlock it, let the demon out for good, he thought he might just have a worthwhile companion to spend some time with. All the great ones worked in pairs, and he was destined for greatness. That much he knew. It was just a matter of finding the right person to work with. So far, his network with the Order had been relatively fruitless.

Not that he was giving up just yet. At least it was entertaining, and he was getting his name out there. Things were just progressing slower than he'd like, and he was craving some excitement.