Emily: "Are we sure the sign said 'Open'?"
Mary: "Pretty sure, I'll go see if I can hunt down someone to help us."

Mary disappeared behind a row of dresses and down a hallway while Emily slowly walked through the shop, brushing her fingers across the rich silk and satin gowns. Moments later, Mary returned.

Mary: "She's getting our dresses. Apparently there's a labyrinth in the basement and judging by her irritation with me, she has to go fight David Bowie for them. Ooooh, pretties!"

Mary reached out for beaded silk dress and examined it.

Mary: "This is what I would wear."
Emily: "To what?"
Mary: "You know, if I ever get married."

Emily raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. The idea of Mary ever getting married had really never occurred to her. She reached for the tag on the dress to check the size and suggest Mary try it on. After what she read sunk in, causing her face to go pale, she hurriedly took the dress from Mary and hung it back up.

Mary: "What? What's wrong?"

Emily's voice was a hoarse whisper.

Emily: "Mary, that dress is twelve thousand dollars."
Mary: "So anyway, I was thinking, if I ever get married, I just want to wear jeans."
Emily: "Me too."

Mary: "I'm afraid to move. I might accidentally breathe on something made by thousands of Tibetan silkworms over the course of a hundred years in a monastery high in the mountains of…"
Emily: "Tibet?"
Mary: "Yeah."
Emily: "Me too."

Suddenly the sales woman appeared from the hallway. Emily jumped, and Mary looked down at the floor guiltily, certain that the woman would be able to detect a molecule of pancake syrup transferred from Mary's hand to a twelve thousand dollar dress. Instead, the woman smiled at them.

Sales woman: "Hello girls, I've got Emily's dress in the dressing room, just follow me."

Sales woman: "Once you're all zipped up, just open the door and I'll have the seamstress come in to pin you for alterations. Mary, I'll be right back with your dress, I couldn't quite manage the stairs with both of them."

Mary: "Is she kidding?"

Mary's voice was quiet, calm and even as she spoke. Emily barely registered the sound as she gazed at the hot pink contraption the saleslady hung in the dressing room.

Mary: "Emily, this is a joke, right? Laura had a wicked sense of humor, right?"
Emily: "Uh huh…"

Emily reached toward the dress and flinched slightly as her finger brushed against the fabric.

Mary: "So this is a joke?"
Emily: "What?"
Mary: "Emily? Are you okay? Are you even listening to me?"

Emily shook herself out of her stunned stupor.

Emily: "Sorry. I think the fabric hypnotized me. Does it look sort of… holographic to you?"
Mary: "The fabric? I don't know. I haven't quite gotten past the poofy sleeves and all the bows. Oh, no…"
Emily: "What?"
Mary: "Flip it to the back."

Emily took the hanger down from the hook and turned the dress around.

Mary: "Yep, just what I was afraid of."
Emily: "That's the biggest butt bow I've ever seen."
Mary: "Seriously. Please tell me Laura is the funniest person we ever met."
Emily: "Sorry, Mary. She didn't even get the knock-knock joke about the orange."
Mary: "No. I'm not wearing this."

Mary stepped out of the dressing room, dragging Emily along, just as the sales woman returned with Mary's dress.

Sales Woman: "Here you are, dear. It'll have to be altered a bit, of course, but I think it's doable."

Emily's eyes widened to an impossible width as she clamped both hands over her mouth. Mary's entire face went slack as her jaw dropped.

Mary: "It needs to be altered just a bit? Lady, there's enough fabric there to dress an elephant conservatively. What size is that?"
Sales woman: "Bridal sizes are misleading, but don't you worry, we'll be able to fit it perfectly."

Mary grabbed the dress and swung around, pushing Emily back into the dressing room and closing the door.